Compassion Requires Fierce Grace


Self-compassion is my greatest challenge most days.  Not the tears and whining of an almost four-year old who wants screen time at the end of the day.  Not the "in my face" attitude of a 9.5 year old who would much rather be playing with his friends than cleaning his room.  Self-compassion.  Because while I strive to remain grounded, connected, and aware as I lovingly enforce boundaries; inevitably, the moment comes when I lose it.  


And long after tempers have settled, tears have dried, and amends have been made; I am left to deal with my own inner voices who love to punish and blame and point out my shortcomings.


As I have journeyed along this spiritual path, I have discovered rituals that have greatly enhanced my capacity for self-love.  Years ago, I stumbled upon a singing mantra meditation practice introduced by Deva Primal and Mitén.  They introduced me to the Green Tara, one of the many forms of the goddess Tara, who, like a mother ready to spring into action, has one of her feet already planted on the ground.  Green Tara—the goddess who liberates, who eliminates fears, and who grounds success.  These are energies that I need as a mother and that I embrace on my journey to self-love.

My singing mantra practice has transformed many a difficult situation.  While I once had a morning mantra ritual, these days, I find that I am using it more in the moment.  If I awake and find myself dreading some particular task or when I become entangled in an argument with one of my children, I find this particular melody especially soothing.  The melody and words resonate throughout my body and enable me to emerge afterward, reconnected with my inner wise woman.  From this grounded place I am able to face whatever lies ahead with grace.  And, the more often I embody compassion, the easier I am able to call upon it the moment.  In those moments--right before I lose it.


Jennifer Knight